Eileen Button is the debut author of The Waiting Place, a collection of autobiographical essays recently published by Thomas Nelson. She is also a columnist, adjunct professor, and––in her own words––committed java junkie.
Eileen answered a few questions about her book and experience as a first-time author . . .
The road to publication involves a lot of hard work… and a lot of waiting. How did the times of waiting during the publishing process––waiting to find the right agent, waiting for a publisher to show interest in your work, etc.––further shape you as a person? What did you learn from this process?
Writing proposals, finding an agent, and waiting/hoping/praying for a publisher who believes in your idea and voice are a bit tortuous, but I’d read that very famous authors—J.K. Rowling and John Grogan, author of Marley & Me, for instance—experienced a lot of rejection, too. That helped. Still there’s that little nefarious voice in a writer’s head that says, “You’re just not good enough.” I try to silence that bugger by running, gardening, hanging wash on the line, and showing up to the page. A few years ago, I trained for and ran the Detroit Marathon because I wanted to write a book. Weird, I know. And really tough. But it somehow served as a practical metaphor for writing.
In addition, my father (whose name is Clark Gable) has told me, “A quitter never wins and a winner never quits,” at least a hundred times over my life. His words echo through everything I do today. I’m learning that a father’s words never lose their power.
As a new author, What part of the writing/publishing process did you enjoy most? Least?
When I’m writing, and I’m in it—really in it—I lose track of time and space. I’m no longer aware of the fact that I’m in the library, café, or dining room. Instead, I’m in the story—walking the streets, seeing the people, eating the food, reliving it all. When I wrote the chapter “H-E-A-R-T (eight points)” I was right there, across the table from my grandmother, playing Scrabble in her kitchen. I wept uncontrollably while writing about her death even though my body was in the public library when I wrote that scene. It was a holy moment. This time traveling thing doesn’t always happen, but when it does it’s both beautiful and a bit grueling. Still, it’s by far the most enjoyable thing about writing.
The thing I enjoy the least about the publishing process is the fact that the internet makes it possible for people to comment about a writer’s work without taking ownership for their words. Feedback, reviews and even criticisms are helpful and appreciated when people own their opinions. But when readers take pot shots, or make personal references while hiding behind pseudonyms, it feels unsafe. I experience this most as a columnist for The Flint Journal. Those who don’t take responsibility for their negative words are modern day snipers.
How did you go about choosing which stories to include in the book?
My husband, Brad, and I brainstormed and outlined the book in the car on a trip home from New York. It was one of those, “Hey, I think we might have something here” moments. Many of those initial ideas turned into essays, while others landed on the editing room floor. As I wrote the book, new essays demanded to be written. For example, “Five Feet Under,” the essay about my grandfather who lived his life as though he were on his deathbed, demanded to be written. It’s one of my favorite chapters.
I knew I had to write “Breathe” and “Crossing the Jordan,” two chapters about my son Jordan’s birth and subsequent hospital stays as we waited for healing. They were two of the final chapters I wrote. I had never written about Jordan’s experience before, and I feared I wouldn’t write it well enough. I mean, how do you write about a miracle? It’s not easy.
Once I found my courage and faced the page, the story flowed. I read Jordan’s chapters to him for the first time recently, and we both cried and held one another. He’s now ten years old. I don’t think he realized the extent of his birth defects or the miracle of his healing until that moment.
In the book you candidly share about some of the sticky situations and divisive attitudes that you have encountered in your church family. For example, in chapter thirteen you tell about how a woman approached you after a sermon one Sunday to scold you for silently giggling when a couple of rowdy parishioners yelled out during a moment of silence. What was the reception of the book in your home church? How did members respond to some of the less-than-flattering portrayals of themselves?
I set out to write a very honest book, and honesty usually demands you tell the whole story, tricky parts and all. My church has been quite wonderful about it all. Those who have read it usually say the same thing: “Your book made me laugh. It made me cry. And it made me mad.” The anger has yet to be directed at me, but I expect it to come my way eventually. I felt it important to tell those prickly stories because the church is not filled with perfect people doing perfect things. It’s filled with imperfect people who love/loathe one another, encourage/criticize one another, give to/take from one another while seeking God together. That’s real. I wanted to bring the reader into my very personal experience as a wife of a pastor and subtly ask, “What do you think about this?” It’s been eye-opening and helpful for many.
What types of books do you like to read during your downtime? What are some books you’ve enjoyed lately?
You have officially opened Pandora’s Box. I love books, especially memoir and literary fiction. I’m a bit of a “troller,” with books that I’m reading strewn around the house. A snapshot of this moment in time looks like this:
- Jennifer Grant’s Love You More on my bedstand
- May Sarton’s A Journal of a Solitude on my red couch
- Mark Childress’s One Mississippi on my loveseat
- Kathleen Norris’s The Quotidian Mysteries in my bathroom
- Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina in my teenage daughter’s bookbag (she stole it)
- Philip Gulley’s If the Church Were Christian in my kitchen
I snatch words in most of my waiting places: in the school pick-up loop, at the doctor’s office, on the field before a soccer game, and in the parking lot after my son’s swim practice. I have a problem.
The books I’ve finished and loved lately include Gabrielle Hamilton’s Blood, Bones & Butter, Sally Ryder Brady’s A Box of Darkness, Elizabeth Berg’s Once Upon a Time, There Was You, Sonny Brewer’s The Poet of Tolstoy Park and Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira’s Grumble, Hallelujah! Beautiful, all of them.
Sum up in one sentence what you hope readers will learn or take away from The Waiting Place.
Life, humor, and beauty can be found in the Waiting Places’ dusty corners; all you have to do is look.
What are you working on now? Do you have any plans for another book in the next couple of years?
I’m just finishing my second proposal for what was my first book idea, entitled When Faith is a Four-Letter Word. It’s a memoir of how our young family moved from Western New York to Philadelphia to pursue my husband’s dream of planting a church. We ended up falling on our faces in both humorous and thought-provoking ways.
As a believer, here’s the thought I can’t shake: sometimes we do outrageous things in our quest to follow God’s call, and they simply don’t work out. Even though we pray, work hard, and pour our lives out, there are still days when we feel like we’re licking the pavement. We feel like we’ve failed God . . . our friends and families . . . ourselves. And yet, God is still God. Call me twisted, but I love that. Readers can get a sneak peek at When Faith is a Four-Letter Word’s story line in The Waiting Place’s chapter entitled “Lessons in Humility.” It’s an icky-but-lovely story that compels readers to think beyond black and white answers to life’s more complicated questions.
To learn more about Eileen visit EileenButton.com and follow her on Twitter @EileenButton. You can also read my review of The Waiting Place and purchase a copy here.
